If I ask you what's the first thing that comes to your mind when you read the BDSM acronyms, you're likely to think of handcuffs, riddles, or ropes.

You would rarely relate the term to an anti-inflammatory, blanket or even chocolate. And it's that these last three objects are just as important as the first ones.

UNSPLASH

They can be part of a BDSM aftercare kit, a series of care that, as Valérie Tasso, writer, sexologist and LELO Ambassador explains to me, are fundamental.

What happens after the session serves us, according to the expert, as a balance sheet.

“Este balance consiste en hablar sobre lo que se acaba de experimentar, analizar lo que nos ha gustado o no, cuán cómodos hemos estado, etc. También incluye el mimar el cuerpo del otro, si una sesión ha sido particularmente dura, a través de abrazos, caricias, curas de pequeñas heridas, moratones, etc”, afirma Valérie.

And not only after practicing BDSM, for example, it can also be done, in the words of the sexologist, "when we have had conventional erotic relationships and, even, when we have tried our new erotic LELO toy."

Why is it important that after BDSM practices certain care is performed? it is an essential part of erotic BDSM. During a Bedesemera session, a lot of adrenaline is usually generated (a hormone that we all produce) and then there is usually a significant drop (it is logical because the level of adrenaline is low) that can manifest in many ways, according to the person, from sadness, a feeling of emptiness, various pains that will lead to a certain mental state (due to the tension of the body), etc.

What kind of aftercare can we put into practice? it should be a mixture of physical care (an example: if we have practiced bondage, we will have to check that there has been no friction with the rope (and if so, take care of these scratches) and post-relationship psychological. While it makes a lot of sense in more 'conventional' erotic relationships, to call them in some way, more important is in the BDSM.

But, watch out! Many people limit themselves to aftercare just after a session when it really should extend beyond time as, many times, the kind of downfall that may appear, it will not necessarily do so right after playing. It is often the case that in our erotic practices, certain states of soul manifest themselves a few days later. We must be attentive to them.

What are the differences between physical and emotional aftercare? in emotional aftercare, we will talk about how we have felt, what we have enjoyed, what we did not like... The idea is to ensure mental well-being at a level that will also help us to repractice BDSM later on, either with the same person or with a different person. These reflections help us learn and become more aware of the experience. And above all to get to know ourselves better.

As far as the physical aspect is concerned, we will check that the body is fine and, if they have any scratches, for example, apply some cream indicated for these cases. However, and well practiced, BDSM should not harm our anatomy.

A good aftercare session addresses both the emotional (for me, the most important) and the physical part. Both aspects have to go hand in hand.

How much time should we devote to it? as in any other aspect, as long as it takes. It may vary depending on various factors. Thus, it will depend on each person, on who is the couple with whom the BDSM has practiced, on each session, on the mood in which we find ourselves, on whether we have introduced new games into a session, etc. And, as I said before, and I want to stress again, it can go further in time, not just after a session.

Is it something that should always be done after each session or does it depend on the moment? Do you need to aftercare all the people who have participated in the session? absolutely, yes. As much as we have played the same games over and over again, and with the same person (s), the erotic theatricalization of a session always incorporates, albeit subtly, new elements. And it would not only be necessary to practice aftercare always after each session, also the following days, depending on how the participants react.

Aftercare is not only valid for the submissive, it is also valid for the dominant. It's about growing up together and learning. And the dominant has to be included as well. There has to be, at all times, feedback on the roles that each has been adopting. The critical spirit of a dominant is the future guarantee of becoming very good at a session.

What kind of articles or products can not be missing in a aftercare kit? some include moisturizers, anti-inflammatory creams, cold, paracetamol, etc. But it is also common to put essential oils in this kit that, because of their aromas, help us relax after a BDSM session. You can also include blankets or jerseys that make us feel comfortable, tea, sweets... A person's kit can include everything! It will depend on each other's tastes, on the practices they usually perform, on the level of adrenaline they have had to experience... After a session, people often feel particularly vulnerable. Aftercare (and its kit) tries to comfort both physically and mentally.

In the book Sex kinky and BDSM, which I have written in collaboration with the brand of sexual well-being and erotic toys LELO, I explain all the steps to get started in this set of practices safely.

Duchess Doslabes.

(you can follow me on Twitter and Facebook now.)

Tags: Aftercare BDSM, BDSM, interview, aftercare bdsm kit, what is Aftercare + + stored in: BDSM, bondage, interview, fetishism, sadism and masochism, sadomasochism, submission